4/27/05

Softball: The Return of a National Hero

Dear People,

Congratz to all on last week’s won-on-the-last-hit 24-23 bacchanal of athletic grace, searing competitive zeal and everything else that makes softball the most glorious pasttime on the face of the Earth. Ultimately, it was my team that beat Jonny’s, but in all fairness, it wasn’t his fault (unlike so many times in the recent past, when his failure of leadership was so stark that it’s now seared deep in our communal conscience).

In any case, special kudos must be given to Ellen, Alan Brill, Chee and the Dunkleator, that inimitable quartet who somehow managed to drop EIGHT fly balls in a row between the 3rd and 5th innings (I shit you not), thus revealing what may have been the most objectively incompetent outfield in the history of our league. Now look, I don’t mean that in a disparaging way, and for all I know, some nasty cad on my side spiked all their mitts with Astroglide. Regardless, as a connoisseur of aerobic slapstick, I’m just grateful to have seen it.

And speaking of things to savor, this upcoming Sunday is not only May Day (that wondrous American tradition in which the working peoples of our nation gather at countless town hall meetings to discuss surplus labor values and dialectical materialism), but it is also the day on which Chris Fure will return for his first community homecoming since abandoning all of us for Seattle (ick), nearly half a year ago. As most of you know, Chris was the moral backbone of our entire league in the two-year transition period between when Mikie and Jen inexplicably moved to Louisville and Nanci took over said responsibilities.

As such, his very presence is a karmic link between who we once were and who we’ve now become, and I’m not saying that just to sound like some dumb-ass Presidential speech writer. And therefore there will be a game at San Pablo #2 this Sunday at 11AM, IF I get enough commits by this Friday morning…Raymond


4/29/05

Softball: Assets

Dear People,

There will be a game at San Pablo #2 this Friday at 11AM, and of now there are still five slots left. As always, you will need to check email Sunday morning if weather conditions are ambiguous.

Please bring $2 for the field, which for this week only includes a matching contribution in kind to your own personal savings account, lovingly invested in a conservative portfolio of pork bellies, foreign hedge funds and counterfeit Picassos…Raymond


Softball: Correction

Please note that even though I wrote there would be a game this Friday at 11AM, I obviously meant this SUNDAY at 11AM. No need for concern; Sometimes I forget to take my medicines and thus the cognitive abilities fray a tad...

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