4/26/00
Softball: The Moral Dilemma of Excessive Dominance
Dear People,
Congratz to all on last week’s stunning 38-23 display of the most deliciously volatile aerobic magnificence that I have ever had the pleasure to sweat through. Indeed, this match was a special one, for beyond the sheer excellence of play, there was an enervating ethical complexity that left me so confused by my own base emotions that I still have no memory of my team’s 9th inning collapse into the sordid annals of dignity denied. What I do remember is the exhilaration I felt as we clawed our way back from a 21-5 deficit to within just four points of an infracaniophilic miracle, just one final inning from destiny and redemption.
Yet even during that glorious twelve run rally in the bottom of the 8th, my joy was tempered by an amorphous unease. For I quickly calculated that just one player on the opposing team----Yes, that player---had either scored or batted in virtually half of their runs, the rich Wheaties-based yield of a man whose raw prowess and gentle demeanor had become legend among us over these last few months. And it is within this context that I must confess to you that as I sat next to his backpack, I put my hand in my pocket and very discreetly removed a tiny beaker of prescription-strength powdered muscle relaxant. Truth be told, for a good two minutes I trembled with inner conflict as I seriously considered sprinkling a teaspoon of the substance onto his cherished snacking cup of organic gnawing butters, desperately trying to convince myself that this one use of force was both measured and righteous.
Ultimately though, I cracked under the strain and did nothing, and sure enough, another homer, triple and several RBIs later, what had been compelling and taut competition was now the unsightly spectacle of rout and disgrace. No, I am not an aerobic ethicist by either training or temperament, but in hindsight, I think we can all agree that in the service of competitive grace, I should have spiked that boy’s stash. Of course in fairness, it’s hard to be decisive when events move so fast and the issues are so textured.
In any case, and as you probably know, this Saturday, April 29th, is the 213th anniversary of the birth of the great Germanic philosopher Arthur Schopenahauer, that athletic giant of post-Kantian determinism who steadfastly held that while irrational will is the driving force in all human affairs, contemplation and virtue still offered a modicum of solace in a world gone mad. Therefore, there will be another game at Codornices on Saturday at 5PM, if I get enough commits by this Friday morning…..Raymond
4/28/00
Softball: Tender Souls
There will be a game at Codornices tomorrow at 5PM, and as of now, there are a couple slots left.
Please bring $1 for the field, which includes ample free parking and a complimentary session of pre-game psychological counseling, particularly recommended for those players that still have "issues" over the role of the strike-out in the punishment of batter ineptitude…… Raymond
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