4/24/13
Softball: A Comparative Case Study of the Decision-Making Process
Dear People,
On a broiling Spring day marked by joyous competitive excellence, Chris Fure's and my team bitterly fought it out as if we were perfectly matched long-glanded coral snakes feasting on an oversized bush rat from opposite ends of its hideous little carcass. Yet it was the Furinator's side that kept on munching, and munching hard, and in the end, they swallowed my team whole, 16-12 (I report it this way not only because of its uncanny metaphorical precision, but also because I just happened to be enjoying a savory post-game burger with Jim McGuire-dominating community slugger and herpetologist extraordinaire-when he told me that this tragic intra-spices version of the food chain is not even that uncommon. And to think that there are people out there who still give me looks of incredulous contempt merely because I say that nature itself is bogus, sicko and utterly unacceptable).
In any case, the point is that we could've easily been the muncher and not the munchee, but for a subtle 4th-inning collapse in our defensive cohesion. As best I recall, the score was tied at five with one out and bases loaded when Rachel slammed a crisp line-drive straight up the middle. Luckily, Anthony was playing very shallow center and quickly scooped up the darting orb just 10 short feet from 2nd, where Jim stood waiting for what was an almost certain can of fresh double-play corn. Curiously though, and for reasons I don't pretend to understand, the Antman looked at good ol' HerpetHead (who was repeatedly screaming 'Second!' with clarion passion) and then at me (who was repeatedly screaming 'Second!' with passionate clarity), and then promptly threw the ball 20 feet over Kira's head at 1st. Whatever.
Now look, while it's true that they scored two runs that play and an additional four that inning, that's a small price to pay for any athlete's right to take the path less chosen. Indeed, if we're going to take seriously the very notion of free will, we must accept that there's always an actual choice to be made. Yes, a choice, for we're human beings, goddammit, not robots, and woe to those who would try to quell the only liberating option in a moment of simple transcendent inflection.
No, I don't know what I'm saying, but I do know that in seeking his own aerobic bliss, Anthony did not stray from his role as an untainted hero for this entire community. For if nothing else, he didn't use steroids or issue fraudulent credit ratings or convert to a nihilistically nutso ideology, and unlike that stupid long-glanded coral snake, he certainly didn't invite his favorite cousin over to dinner just so that he could eat him. And therefore there will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11, IF I get enough commits by this Friday morning…Raymond
4/26/13
Softball: Fashion
Dear People,
There will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11, and as of now there are still five slots left.
Please bring $4 for the field, which for this week only includes my long-awaited post-match exhibit on the bustiers and corsets of Northern Florida…Raymond 845-7552
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