4/23/08

Softball: A Brief Recap of a Potential International Incident

Dear People,

Jeff W’s team crushed my own, 15-7, in one of those subtle aerobic battles in which geopolitical factors seemed to transcend the stark underlying beauty of the broader sport. And I’m not saying that just because Jeff’s team boasted Alex, a visiting slugger from Taiwan who had clearly grown up on the Formosan variant of our wondrous pastime, whereas my team acquired Carl, a gentle finance student from Shanghai who apparently had never seen a baseball. Ever.

I suppose that partially explains the somewhat varied trajectories of their American debuts, as best exemplified by Carl’s first at-bat. Having arrived in the States a full two days earlier, I was pretty sure I had had time to help him internalize the basic rules, skill-sets and core values of the game, and indeed, as he walked confidently to the plate, I brimmed with pride anew as I shouted one last time to “swing for the bushes!”

Unfortunately, and for reasons I don’t pretend to understand, Carl apparently confused the verdant bushes beyond deep center-right with the tender boney area between his forehead, nasal bridge and left eyeball. I’m still not sure why Ruth’s lingering sinker ricocheted directly into his face, though in retrospect, it probably wasn’t advisable for good ’ol Banker-boy to clutch the bat so curiously close to his bosom. Live and learn.

In any case, I was initially feeling pretty guilty about the whole thing, what with his blood-stained visage and badly cracked glasses, but of course the shock and pain were ephemeral (by the 9th inning, his English was almost back!), and just a dab of crazy glue would salvage his vision for the last few days of his California vacation. Moreover, the more I thought about it, the more I realized that in his brief trip to the States, Carl had the rare opportunity to not only play the quintessential American game, but to actually enjoy the brutal cuts, scrapes and bruises that bring so much athletic wisdom and seasoning.

So yes, in less than a week, he had essentially become bicultural, and indeed, if he later chooses to sue me for reckless endangerment, Carl would undoubtedly qualify for immediate US Citizenship. And therefore there will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11, IF I get enough commits by this Friday morning….Raymond


4/25/08

Softball: The Inherent Dignity of the Democratic Process

Dear People,

There will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11, and as of now there are still three slots left.

Please bring $3 for the field, which for this week only includes my special post-game lecture on this week’s most critical yet deeply misunderstood electoral demographic; The white, working class gun-owning lesbian soccer-moms of Southeastern Indiana…Raymond 845-7552

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