4/21/10
Softball: Staggering Variation in the Trajectory of Ripple Effects
Dear People,
On a warm and gorgeously ash-free day, my team beat back Jeff W’s 16-12. In fact, we jumped out to an immediate double digit lead, but with his poised and calming stewardship, they steadily clawed their way back to within just three runs. Then, with one out and Jeff on first in the bottom of the 7th, Paul slammed a magnificent line drive to deep center right, and as both base runner and batter took off for their respective paths to glory, it seemed as if my own side was about to be overwhelmed by a frightening blend of accelerating momentum, tactical excellence and flawless come-from-behind execution.
Yet fortunately, and for reasons I don’t pretend to understand, Paul apparently failed to “track” his beloved captain in front of him, and thus as Jeff pulled into third for a well deserved rest, our hero inexplicably rounded second and darted right toward that same tantalizing base. In so doing, he could take pride in having outrun the throw back from the outfield, but alas, Jeff still hadn’t noticed that his curiously clueless teammate was now quickly barreling down on his tragically stationary ass.
When good ’ol Captain Relaxin’ suddenly understood the calamity about to befall him, his tiny little eyeballs instantly doubled in size as he frantically took off like a panicked baby river-rhino fleeing a famished pride of Tanzanian mountain lions. Inevitably though, his hopeless sprint to home ended with a force-out 10 feet before the plate, thereby concluding what was one of the most unsightly rally-destroying fuck-ups in the history of this league.
Pity.
To be sure, St. Paul will need to think long and hard on just what it was he was thinking when he thoughtlessly thunk that he could drive his own bud, fellow biologist and towering athletic mentor into the stark and certain abyss of death-by-throw-out, but I for one will not cast aspersions. Indeed, the human brain is nothing if not wickedly impetuous, and at a minimum, I think we can all agree that like that despicable airplane-hating Eyjafjallajökull volcano (pronounced ‘vol-cane-o’), our hippocampi are explosive and complex cauldrons of inscrutable chemical reactions that will occasionally wreak havoc. Needless to say, this week’s 95,000 cancelled flights are only partially Paul’s fault, and therefore there will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11, IF I get enough commits by this Friday morning…Raymond
4/21/10
Softball: Multi-skillage
Dear People,
There will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11, and as of now it is full. As always, please let me know ASAP if you committed and need to cancel, and feel free to contact me later for reopened slots.
This week’s field fee is just $4, and that includes my unique post-game lecture on how to simultaneously master derivative risk management, natural contraception and modern Hungarian grammar, all in one productive weekend! …Raymond 845-7552
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