4/12/06
Softball: Another Swipe at Fair and Balanced Fatuity
Dear People,
Jeff W’s team staved off my own, 12-10, but my side had most of the really cool injuries. Sure, Anthony failed to halt a long blast to right with his lower rib cage, but the sting was temporary and his boney structures held firm. On my team, however, Zac returned from a five year absence and immediately cracked open the nail on his precious little index finger, thereby triggering a more meritorious wave of sympathy and derision.
Finally, with two down, bases loaded and the score tied in the top of the 7th, a fearsome line drive up the middle was stopped cold by Jay Z in dead shallow center. Instantaneously, he hurled a geometrically perfect line drive directly toward home plate, where Nikki was already focused like a laser on the rapidly incoming orb. Indeed, she was more calm and poised than I had ever seen her before, and thus I had no doubt that she was clearly primed to make that glorious run-denying third and final out.
Unfortunately, and for reasons I don’t pretend to understand, Nikki decided to catch Jay’s throw with the upper patella of her exposed left knee. This was probably not the most advisable strategy, because generally speaking, pliable leg parts aren’t actually designed to catch balls the way, say, softball mitts are (Hence the term, “softball mitt”).
Sure enough, the ball ricocheted away like a runaway proton, and the resulting two runs doomed my entire team. Yet all was not lost, for Nikki’s knee took on the sublime reds and purples of Rothko’s finest canvas, proving once again that in the broad context of great aerobic risk, the abstractions of pain and beauty lay majestically intertwined.
The point is that this upcoming weekend is Easter Sunday, and so naturally I wasn’t going to bother organizing a game. But then it suddenly occurred to me that I was a tradition-hating secular humanist libertine who Bill O’Reilly has properly identified as the type of person who is out to destroy all religious holidays. In all candor, it’s hard to deny the accusation since the spirit of Lucifer festers deep inside my Godless anti-American bosom, and therefore there will be a game this Sunday at 3PM, IF I get enough commits by this Friday morning…Raymond
4/13/06
Softball: Official Pastime of the 12 Apostles
Dear People,
There will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 3PM, and as of now, it is full. As always, please contact me ASAP if you committed and need to cancel, and for those who want in, feel free to call me that afternoon to see if any slots have opened. You will also need to check email if it rains a lot between now and then or weather conditions are ambiguous.
A special note: You should be aware that one of our own had his car broken into last week while we were frolicking on the field. This kind of thing has happened before, and thus the moral of the story is that despite how nice the neighborhood is, you shouldn’t keep valuables in your car while parked on Euclid.
Finally, this week’s field fee is just $3, and that includes a delicious leftover lamb bone, Matzah and horseradish….Raymond 845-7552
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