Softball: Your Non-Denominational Passover-Easter Sport
Dear People,
Jeff W’s team pan-seared my own, 35-23, in one of those hot, dusty
and grueling four-hour ordeals that seemed so interminable that I had to crush an outbreak of spontaneous demands for a 7-inning game. It’s never easy to crush your own kind, of course, and yet deep in my bosom, I knew that we don’t ‘do’ 7-inning games; Such pseudo-matches show weakness, lack of moral clarity and most obviously, a disturbing ignorance of aerobic feng shui.
The point is that I wasn’t even going to organize a game this week
since so many players were so enervated and jejune by the time it
all ended last week, and regardless, as some of you may know, this
Sunday marks the 1,977th anniversary of the resurrection of the
inimitable Jesus Christ, give or take a decade and a really impressive
leap of faith. But then it occurred to me that with all due respect to the great JC himself, a good half of our community is actually of the Hebraic, Wicken or Godless creeds, or if nothing else, just plain theologically befuddled.
Moreover, I then started to think about what Jesus himself would do on such a day, and while I’m obviously not going to quote myself like some pitiful athletoblogger bereft of ideas, I would gently remind you as to what I wrote this very week, 10 wondrous years ago. . .
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I for one am not about to schedule a game that would conflict with
the more spiritual foci of our people of faith. Nevertheless, I just happened to be reading through the Gospel according to Matthew when it suddenly struck me that the Mattmesiter’s most compelling contribution was probably his stirring depiction of Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount.
In all candor, I am not an expert in the ancient Hebraic tongues of
the Eastern Mediterranean, and yet my own etymological analysis
strongly suggests that the Aramaic slang word “mooundt” (meaning
literally, “awesome anthill”) was somehow translated into ancient
Hebrew as their word for “mount,” (meaning “nice mountain”),
when in reality, the location where Jesus offered his beatitudes was
on the “mound” (with a ‘d’).
No, I cannot prove this beyond a doubt, and I certainly do not mean to
cast aspersions on the fine folks who toiled at the Department of
Translation in King James’ Court. Yet I am suggesting that recent
archeological breakthroughs now clearly imply that the ancient
Israelites played a club-swinging ball game that was shockingly
similar to our modern game of baseball, and more to the point, when
Jesus rose to address the multitudes on that fateful ancient day, he
did so from the pitcher’s mound at the original Jerusalem
Stadium and Rugby Club.
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If you must know, I still get chills when I read my own theological
drivel. Regardless, I think we can all agree that if Jesus were
with us today, he wouldn’t want you hanging out with your distant and nutso relatives if instead you could be playing ball with your real
people—the Yiddles and Goys of the Codornices Mound. And therefore
there will be a game this Sunday at 11AM, IF I get enough commits
by this Friday morning. . .Raymond
4/9/09
Softball: More Spiritual Cuisine from Chez Pretentious
Dear People,
There will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11AM, and as of now there are three slots left.
Please bring $4 for the field, which for this week only includes an impressive selection of Easter guinea hens braised in red wine and pancetta with wild mushrooms and myrrh. . .Raymond 845-7552