Dear People,
Quite a few of you have emailed me wondering if I perished in the last rains, and yes, I was especially touched by those letters asking that if that were the case, could I at least appoint a successor for organizational purposes. Fortunately, I remain hearty and hale, and am now once again prepared to lead our people aerobicly forward. Therefore, there will be a softball game this Saturday, April 11, at Noon, at kleeberger, IF I get the minimum number of needed commits by this Friday morning.
I realize that Friday is Good Friday and Saturday is the first day of Passover and Sunday is whatever, but I'm asking you to look deep into your hearts and transcend the icons and the ceremonies and the crass secularized commercial traditionalism of the season and ask yourself a simple question: What would Moses, Jesus and Joshua have done? To be honest, I don't even know who Joshua was, but I think you see my point. Softball ran deep in the marrow of these people's bones, and they would have played a lot more of it if the Egyptians had not been so strict. AND, in any case, let's not forget that this Saturday will also be the 146th birthday of Andrian "cap" Anson, the legendary first baseman-manager for the Chicago Cubs, who led his team to five National League Pennants between 1880 and 1886 (You think I make this stuff up?! You're on the net---look it up!)
Yes, I know that your family is calling you home in LA and New York and St. Louis and Milpitis and god knows where else people choose to lead their dreary and curious lives, but sometimes you have to take a stand and look at the increasing girth of your ever expanding gut and say "Yes, this time Ray's right; I know what Moses would do. He'd be out there in center field, celebrating the life of Andrian "cap" Anson, and gosh darn it, that's what I'm going to do." Bless you...Raymond
PS: As usual, please let me know if you'd be into playing football on the slight chance of drizzle or a shortage of people, which is always a possibility since next weekend is Easter.