4/4/01

Softball: The Brittle Texture of Athletic Historiography

Dear People,

Congratz to all on last week’s utterly fantabulous won-on-the-last-hit 19-18 exemplification of all that is glorious and sublime in the media-ignored world of unaffiliated email-organized sport. The late-afternoon sun on our beloved Codornices only added to the competitive majesty, and while a coy quartet of local grazing Yak stayed hidden in the forested tundra of deep left field, I could all but taste the piercing optical beam of their incessant mammalian stares.

Technically, of course, my own team lost by one point, and I suppose that if you’re a human, an antelope or even an aphid, that’s probably what you think you "saw." Still, I would gently point out that my contingent not only had a commanding 10 point lead going into the 3rd, but in fact, we were actually ahead at the end of every one of the first eight innings! Yes, it’s true that we slipped behind by one run in the bottom of the 9th, yet obviously a just recreational Gestalt does not obsess on an arbitrary moment in time. Indeed, I think most people understand that the rules of softball imply a tad more nuance, and that the most moral of victories resides with that side which kicks ass for the first 17/18ths of play. At a minimum, I think we can all agree on that.

In any case, and as most of you know, this Sunday is the 104th anniversary of the birth of the great Hank "stink-tooth" Gowdy, the legendary New York Giants catcher who was shamelessly scapegoated by the New York press as the cause of the Giant’s loss in the 1924 World Series. As you probably recall, the Giants were battling the pernicious Washington Senators for the top crown that fateful year, and were just one out from taking it all, with a 3-2 lead in the bottom of the 12th.

Muddy "Loco" Ruel came to the plate with men on 1st and 2nd, the unseemly and orgiastic Washingtonian fans all screaming for the emotive release of victory achieved. Suddenly, Ruel popped up a sky-high ball directly behind home plate, and as ’ol rancid-mouth rose to his feet, he immediately threw off his catcher’s mask and aimed his gaze directly upward, his eyes now zeroing in on that magnificent orb of raw Newtonian predictability. To be sure, its imminent descent was now a swirling metaphor for nothing less than the fate of the Giants, the Senators, and perhaps the nation itself.

I confess that I wasn’t there on that storied October day, but I imagine that time nearly froze in place as the Hankmeister prepared to snag that ball for the glory of Gotham. Suddenly though, Gowdy’s right foot slammed down directly onto his own mask, and thus he suddenly found his tiny little toes ensnared between the shell and caging of his cherished face-guard. Desperately, he tried to kick the mask off, but in doing so, he found himself stumbling like a spastic dufus on back-alley moonshine. To the delight of the mob in the stands, his body whirled as his limbs flailed, and then, sadly, his puffy-white rump slammed to the ground just as the ball plummeted behind him.

Admittedly, it appeared to be the most pitiful display of athletic ineptitude in the entire span of the Coolidge Presidency, and yes, Ruel did immediately exploit his second chance by slamming a game-winning double into right field, thereby giving the entire Series and Championship to the surly and despicable Senators. Yet I for one am not about to say that Stinky was "responsible" for the Giant’s tragic loss. Frankly, I don’t even know what that means, and regardless, for all we know, Ruel may have tampered with that mask, or even kicked it right under Gowdy’s feet when no one was paying attention. I’m not saying that happened, but I am saying that aerobic truth is complex and illusive, and until we know more, I will not cast aspersions.

And therefore, there will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 5PM, IF I get enough players by this Friday morning. So go ahead and make that commit; This time, do it for Hank "stink-tooth" Gowdy, whose only proven blunder was an ill-advised decision to ignore the rewards of basic oral hygiene…..Raymond


4/6/01

Softball: Quick

Dear People,

There will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 5/Four slots left/$2 for the field….Ray

PS: Check email/voicemail if weather conditions are ambiguous. 845-7552

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