4/3/13
Softball: A Rare Excursion into the Legislative Weeds
Dear People,
My team rode unabashedly imperious roughshod over Steve Powers' (or Steve Powers's, or perhaps Steve Powerzie'^ najwi_kszym sportowcem-I honestly don't know), but the point is that after a grueling battle that tested the limits of our collective aerobic courage, they went down, and down hard, 20-14. Indeed, before they crumbled, a moist and nasty drizzle began to pummel us all in the bottom of the 4th, and as it intensified over the next couple innings, I remember thinking that any other peoples would've instantly fled to the coward-coddling shelter of Berkeley's many superb hot-cocoa bars. Of course, we're not like all those other losers, so we carried on stoutly until 30 minutes later when the sun finally shone for good, and while some would later suffer a slight cough, mild flu or even syphilitic dementia, I think we all know that's a small price to pay for being part of something so venerable, bracing and communally majestic.
Except when it's not. The bitter truth is that as tensions rose in the bottom of the 6th, Steve took off from 1st on a sharp line drive to shallow right, and after darting past 2nd like a gazelle on crack, he appeared--or not--to slide gloriously into 3rd, just under that fabled and outstretched glove which was none other than Dave Ross' (or Dave Ross's, or perhaps Dave Rosh hashanh'^es-Frankly, grammar was never my thing). Alas, uncertainty itself is a perilous mistress, and while I'd like to say that we as a consensus-craving folk rose to the occasion, the painful truth is that the majesty of our league was somewhat “diminished” by the ensuing several-minute multi-person sandbox-evoking bickerthon.
The point is that aerobic law must always be fairly and quickly enforced, and as league organizer, my failure to have done so may leave me with little choice but to tender my resignation and return to my cherished childhood rectory in suburban Sherman Oaks (ironically, right between the Piggly Wiggly grocery store and the Bullwinkle Jr. High schoolyard). Of course, I still must clarify just what the relevant law is, lest we all once again succumb to our churlish inner toddlers.
In fact, for the past several months we've been playing under the nationally respected Davey Rule, which is not to be confused with either the Nanci Rule or Davy Jones, who, truth be told, was always my second favorite Monkee.
To wit:
1- When a play is contested, it is the nearest base coach who makes the call (plays at 2nd are called by the 3rd base coach),
2- If the batting team has failed to provide a base coach or that coach is too abulic to make a call, then the nearest fielding player(s) who are not directly involved in the play make the call,
3-If the qualified fielding players don't agree, then the old Trailer's Rule is implemented, and
4-If every other person at the game feels that the final rule-based call in question is a result of clinically irrefutable blindness, psychosis or just plain stupidity, then that call can still be reversed by a semi-sustained showing of universal derision.
Having once studied the grandeur of the law myself, I think I can say with a certain robust confidence that over the next few decades, the number of actual plays on the ground in which this rule will fail to produce a definitive, just and rapid result will certainly be well under 30 trillion. And therefore there will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11, IF I get enough commits by this Friday morning….Raymond
3/5/13
Softball: Cognitive
Dear People,
There will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11, and as of now, there are still four slots left.
Please bring $4 for the field, which for this week only includes a personalized and lovingly drawn map of your very own brain (temporal lobe not included)…Raymond 845-7552
PS: As you may know, Mary and Tony Mac are in the process of shooting a short video on the community. Below is a couple-minute smattering of some very raw clips that have yet to be edited, yet still hint at the sublime aerobic institution that is us. . .
https://www.youtube.com/embed/videoseries?list=PLz4a2Q01cKYzaAFlU3rJVl-cmn9nAYnRM
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