Softball: Our Reluctant Volunteer
Dear People,
While it’s true that my team beat back Jony’s 20-16, his debut as captain was both nuanced and honorable. Ultimately, of course, it was also a complete failure of leadership, and I don’t think we should try to deny that. The fact is that this aerobic pearl of the South African bush was backed by the frightful troika of Raul, Jeff W. and Frank, and on paper, his team had every conceivable edge in power, speed and pulchritude. And yet in the bottom of the 7th, Raul had yet to muster anything beyond a Terri-like single, and thus it was at that point that I asked him if he was in a temporary lull, or if there was a deeper, more structural problem.
"It’s the coach, man" he whispered to me in confidence, "he ain’t leading, and I just don’t feel, ya know….uh…inspired. Plus that Russian accent gets old." I gently pointed out that Jony’s was a charming South African accent, and yet Raul held his ground, insisting "that charming South Russian accent gets old, man. We need help." In fairness, Jony’s only been playing with us for six years, and the process of weaning him from the more manly endeavors of cricket, rugby and twister has been a draining one. Still, I think he has the visionary potential to be one of our greatest leaders, and thus I am delighted to publicly announce that despite the fact that he never "wants" to do it again, he will now be our default go-to captain for the next 87 weeks! Jony, congratz!!
In any case, and just for the record, I have done a lot of soul-searching over these last few days and have now made the decision that if served with a Congressional subpoena, I will appear before their nosey-ass committee, but I will never name names. Nor will I ever admit or deny if my uncanny streak of pop-ups and ground-outs is a result of the cream or the clear, nor for that matter, will I ever discuss the theoretical shrivelage of my gonadal units. Call me aloof if you must, but I happen to believe that such matters are strictly between myself, my rabbi and my gynecologist, and therefore there will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11:00, IF I get enough commits by this Friday morning…Raymond
3/25/05
Softball: Another Reason to Play
Dear People,
There will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11:00, and as of now there are still, shamefully, six slots left. I must confess that I forgot that this upcoming Sunday is Easter Day, but regardless, I’m obviously not going to resort to glib Biblical rationalizations as a way of attracting more players.
Still, I think we all know that when Jesus gave his sermon on the mound, his timeless words spoke to every generation of pitchers from the great Hebraic southpaws of his day to our own Peter, Ruth and Ehud, and therefore, I think it’s obvious what he would be doing this Sunday morning, if he only had the time.
I think you see my point/$2 for the field/All non-community commits welcome…Raymond 845-7552