3/19/03
Softball: The Varied Strains of Miscalculation
Dear People,
As most of you probably noticed, and much to my chagrin, the glorious rays of the sun burned off virtually every cloud in the East Bay sky within an hour after I cancelled our last game. Needless to say, this situation caused me gnawing waves of Hebraic self-doubt, and as the beauty of the morn intensified, I found myself returning to Codorncies in order to verify that I had still done the right thing. I hadn’t.
It’s true that the field was officially closed, but the hard reality is that by 11:30, it was minimally puddled and basically playable. I nearly broke down in uncontrolled sobs as I began to realize how much critical aerobic release I had needlessly denied you all, and as a result, I now take full responsibly for the incalculable damage to your cardio-vascular, emotional and spleen-related health. And no, I don’t write that just because I happen to love the word ‘spleen.’
In any case, and because of this, I will soon submit to a vote of the 15 most consistent regulars within our community. I will insist that they put their cards on the table, in order to show whether they believe that I should be forced to resign in shame before retiring to my beloved childhood dacha in suburban Van Nuys. However, if I sense that the vote would actually go against me, I will do the diplomatically stylish thing and immediately cancel it, while simultaneously claiming that the results of such a process would be both bogus and irrelevant. And therefore, there will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11AM, IF I get enough commits by this Friday morning.
Have a nice war….Raymond
3/20/03
Softball: Contingencies
Dear People,
There will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11 AM, and as of now, there are still three slots left.
Please bring $2 for the field, which, if necessary, will help defray the costs of my own personal body double---vocally precise, breathtakingly close to my own rugged good looks, and fully capable of carrying out the organizational duties of the game if I happen to be picked off by 43 cruise missiles on the way to the park….Raymond 845-7552
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