3/16/05
Softball: Paradigms (The Eerie Convergence of Science and Sport)
Dear People,
In an utterly brutal pitcher’s duel which redefined the mound as an aerobic point of reference, my team staved off Frank’s, 33-27. The fact is that Youseef faced down his beloved bro, Broh, and in addition, outhurled and outlasted Peter, Steve V. and Frank combined, and for all that, his superstar status in our community remains simply undisputed. The same, of course, must be said of Arthur, who flew in from Amsterdam the night before, and barely had time to wallow in the glory of his third and brand new grandchild before finding himself fighting the sun, jetlag and a constant bombardment of fly balls to deep center right, almost all of which he snagged with the grace and focus we’ve now come to expect of the seasoned Dutch athlete.
Alas, the same cannot be said for Tim, son of Arthur, father of Arthur’s three grandchildren, and himself Dutch to the very marrow of his bones, for his performance at 3rd was an unsightly one-man spectacle of calamity and error that practically cried out for a public decoupling of the familial link. Needless to say, I’m not going to do that (decouplage is not my scene), but if Arthur so requests, I will tell the unsuspecting in future games that Tim is merely his cousin by marriage, 15 times removed.
In any case, I happened to be perusing the Chron yesterday when I came across a disturbing overview of string theory, which, truth be told, I have always cherished as the ultimate font of universal truth. Well, apparently there is a growing number of crass hoity-toity physicists who now claim that these awesome dimension-bending string-thingies have yet to produce "a single satisfactory explanation for anything." BFD!! In fact, I’m willing to concede that’s technically correct, but I for one remain utterly convinced that there are at least 63 trillion parallel universes of which no fewer than 10 are accessible through inverted fare-free wormholes, and of those 10, at least one contains an unaffiliated email organized softball league in which both Nanci and Terri consistently lead in homers, RBIs and put-outs.
OK, fine, that was the most gratuitous statistical double-entendre I’ve ever written, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to cede the scientific high ground to a bunch of embittered "theoretical realists" who can’t handle the glory of a potential all-encompassing solution, just because it’s absolutely meaningless and completely untestable. No, my friends, I think we all know that those guys are sore losers, and that in fact, vibrating nano-twine totally rocks, and therefore there will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11, IF I get enough commits by this Friday morning…Raymond
3/18/05
Softball: Chez P (Superior Verbiage of the Dufus Gourmet)
Dear People,
There will (hopefully) be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11, and as of now, there are five slots left. Since there is a chance of wet, watery and utterly contemptible rain between now and then, you will need to check email/voicemail Sunday morning.
Assuming we play, this week’s field fee is just $2, and that includes a fabulous cardoon and beet salad with sauce gribiche!….Raymond 845-7552
3/20/05
Softball: 9:52AM: Life is Risk/Courage/Yes!
The field is closed but utterly playable and glorious, and I’ll be damned if I’m going to let either a callous city OR a despicable layer of gray, neo-fascist nimbostratus clouds intimidate us. I’m sorry, but that’s just not what I’m about.
Two slots left/See ya at 11:00…Raymond
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