Softball: The Psycho-Newtonian Riddles of Proximate Cause in Sport
Dear People,
After three long and agonizing weeks of ghastly aerobic deprivation, we returned to our beloved Codornices homeland with such universal giddiness that it would be wrong to suggest that one team or the other actually “lost” the game that followed. Sure, technically speaking, Jeff W’s side artfully denarded my own, 26-15, and yet the very fact that we were playing at all filled my bosom with score-transcending joy. Of course, not everyone on my team had such a perky perspective.
I refer you to the top of the 6th, when the Jeffster’s contingent began to pull away with a series of brutal hits that left my defense weary, shaken and nutso. With five across, two out and a runner on 1st, Greg blasted a line drive to deep center-right that Jim crisply scooped up before instantly hurling it to Kerri at 2nd. The Kerriator herself moved with focused celerity, grabbed the throw from right, pivoted hard, saw Paul darting toward home, and then, for reasons I don’t pretend to understand, promptly threw the ball straight into the ground in front of her, 50 feet from the plate. “Oh!,” she shrieked as the little leather orb left her hand, “You little Fuuuucker!!” In all candor, I believe that comment was totally out of line.
Now look, I’m hardly an expert on the nuanced interplay between free
will and the intentionality of inanimate objects, and yet I have to tell ya, I just don’t think it’s the ball’s “fault” that it ended up in the dirt by the pitcher’s mound. Moreover, I really doubt that Hegel, Hume or even Searle would ascribe such treacherous intent to the ball qua ball (what DiMaggio himself once playfully referred to as “orbital sass”). Just to be clear, though, I’m hardly suggesting that Kerri herself was in any way responsible! That would be too easy by half, and regardless, way too consistent with the basic laws of physics as we understand them today.
No, my friends, I think what we have here is one of those insoluble ontological mysteries of natural law and ultimate causation, and if that is indeed the case, we can only grow as a people if we accept that we will never truly know what caused the retardo trajectory of the little fucker in question. And therefore there will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11, IF I get enough commits by this Friday morning. . . Raymond
3/12/10
Softball: Longer Days! (Clocks, Clouds and Other Complications)
Dear People,
There will hopefully be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11, and as of now, there are still two slots left. Once again, you will need to check email that morning around 10 since rain is expected later today and if the park remains puddled, the city may show an annoying lack of mercy. As always, I will try to nudge, seduce and reason to the best of my abilities.
ALSO: Please remember that you will need to set your clocks an hour forward on Saturday night. Indeed, if you forget to do that, you would arrive at the game an hour late, thereby exposing yourself as the chronological dufus that you really don’t want to be.
$4 if it happens/Hope for heat/See ya Sunday. . .Raymond 845-7552
3/14/10
Softball: Sunday 10AM: Yes!, with a slight caveat…
The field is offically closed, but thanks to acts of true diplomatic heroism on Broh’s part in the last couple minutes, there will be a game at Codorncies at 11, and even better, today’s game is free!
There is a very samall chance of disruption, but the field is fabulous, it’s glorious outside and only a pathological riskaphobe would back out now. See ya there…Ray 845-7552