3/8/00
Softball: Soggy (What Sicko Forces Would Taunt Us So?)
Dear People,
As you probably already know, my cerebellar D3 dopamine receptors spazz with the fury of 1,000 newly ensnared Cryptotis parva whenever I am forced to conclude that organizing a softball game is not worth the effort. Nevertheless, the simple fact is that once again, San Pablo is the only Berkeley field that isn’t already fully reserved by official leagues, and because of the despicable rains that continue to batter us, the city will continue to keep it closed throughout the weekend.
Frankly, I am as worried about the local fresh water crab, barnacles and various stomotapod crustaceans as I am about all of you, though I suppose they will ultimately find sun and rest in other waters, while as a people, you will simply grow flabby and sullen from lack of aerobic release. All I can tell you is that I am also outraged by what has been happening these last few weeks, and thus with your support, will soon go to Washington in order to assiduously lobby for meaningful climatological reform.
In the meantime, do not succumb to total despair, for I’m reasonably confident that we’ll finally be returning to the virgin rubber sheathing of our beloved Kleeberger, a week from this Saturday. Stay tuned….Raymond
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