3/2/05

Softball: A Patina of Crude

Dear People,

Congratz to all on last week’s bone-chilling 3-hour ExhaustAthon, in which my team initially held Darryl’s side by their proverbial 5th inning gonads—their batters floundering, two outs, no runners on, and a dire 14-5 deficit that nearly cried out for a formal admission of aerobic failure. Indeed, the icy Pacific wind had already blown hard and helpful behind our backs, and thus after Nanci blasted a breathtaking 2-RBI double over Darryl’s discombobulated little head, I had already begun wondering how we could show a modicum of grace and mercy before the humiliation simply got out of hand.

Well, aerobic zeitgeist is a fickle mistress, and while I don’t pretend to understand what causes such radical shifts in its explosive DNA, what I do believe is that a pivotal moment occurred in the bottom of that critical 5th inning, specifically when Frank made the curious decision to try and catch Chee’s blistering line drive with his forehead instead of his mitt. In retrospect, this was tactically retardo, and indeed, the 13-run 2-out rally that followed would suggest at least as much. Alas, the hemorrhaging continued in the 6th, with Ramona’s searing 2-RBI triple over Alex’s shell-shocked little noggin, and thus in the end, Darryl’s team turned the gonadal tables, mercilessly crushing my own, 34-21. Yes, coy is the structural ambiguity of our cherished English tongue.

In any case, the real point is that any other league would have abandoned this game at one point or another, what with the endless pre-match bucketing of turgid waters, the arctic-like zephyrs that increasingly battered our players, and the gnawing "feeling" that by the end of the 8th, this playful little endeavor had somehow lingered on about 400 hours too long. Nevertheless, we held fast as a people and completed our 9 innings in dignity, once again showing that recreational tradition is a truly bottomless font of imbecilic communal behavior. And therefore there will be a game at CODORNICES this Sunday at 11AM, IF I get enough commits by this Friday morning…Raymond



3/2/05

Softball: Return to the Homeland

Dear People,

There will be a game at CODORNICES this Sunday at 11, and as of now it is already full. As a consolation prize, any ‘23rd commit’ who volunteers to ump will get first slot on the unofficial wait list, as well as the eternal love and respect of your 22 peers. Regardless, and as always, please let me know ASAP if you committed and have to cancel, and feel free to call later for news of any open slots.

This week’s field fee is just $2, and that includes a delightful pre-game dab of Eau Sauvage by Christian Dior….Raymond 845-7552

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