2/23/05
Softball: Abstract (Venerable Schtick Variant #9B)
Dear People,
At 8:45AM last Sunday morning, I found myself tiptoeing in the heavily soaked grasses of Codornices’ shallow center-right, and as I pondered the solemn responsibility of protecting your cardio-vascular integrity, I suddenly found myself wondering why Christos and Jean-Claude had not agreed to place a couple dozen of their utterly sublime orange saffron gates Chez Nous, from our own home plate to the yak-laden tundra beyond left field. Frankly, I think ‘linking’ Central Park and Codornices would have added national heft to the conceptual load of the art in question, perhaps thus changing the general "middle-American consensus" that these deeply misunderstood structures were sort of pretty, unquestionably orange, and yet ultimately, total merde de bull.
Of course I had little time to ponder all that, for I had to seriously consider the hard and tedious process of sump-pumping out the insidious puddlement that rendered our entire field an unplayable and malarial suck-swamp. At the time, it just seemed too overwhelming, but I’ve now done the hydro-trigametric calculations, and the fact is that had I started pumping at 3:45AM that morning, she would have been quasi-dry and playable by game time (gates or no gates). I’m not going to lie to you; At 3:45, I was sound asleep in my deliciously warm and cozy lair, acting, incredibly, as if I had not a responsibility in the world.
Well, I have no idea how many of last week’s 21 commits will end up hooked on Lipitor thanks to my pre-crepuscular indifference, but I will not sit here and pretend that I am not utterly and morally bankrupt. The hard reality is that I have needlessly compromised your aerobic health, and thus if the people so demand, I will immediately resign, forego all back salaries, and retire to my cherished childhood fennel farm in unincorporated Vallejo (just behind the Mare Naval Shipyard, where the licorice plants grow feral and free). In the meantime, though, I’m simply not going to make your reckless abandonment a shameless pattern, and therefore there will be a game at SAN PABLO #2 this Sunday at 11AM, IF I get enough players by this Friday morning…Raymond
2/25/05
Softball: Optimism
Dear People,
There will (probably) be a game at SAN PABLO #2 this Sunday at 11AM, and as of now, there are still three slots left. Unfortunately, there are some annoying predications of rain arriving that morning, but my own personal analysis of the low-pressure front hovering coyly off the Northern California coast has me utterly convinced that the first showers will not show up until 3:37 that afternoon. Call me a meteorological nut-job if you must, but I have my reasons.
If climatic conditions are ambiguous, you will need to check email/Assuming we play, $2 for the field….Raymond 845-7552
2/27/05
Softball: Sunday morning 9:35AM: Life is short/No Excuses!!!
As of five minutes ago, San Pablo was officially open and teeming with soccer players, which in this case, is a good thing. The SP #2 infield is a bit puddled, but we’ve faced greater calamities, and I’m bringing a shovel. If you have any other garden tools you think might be useful, don’t hesitate to bring them.
Most importantly, I have looked deep into the intimidating grey overcast skies, and I can tell you that I am convinced with every fiber of my being that those bastard clouds are BLUFFING! Do not give in to fear!
Three slots left/Panic is for pussies/See ya at San Pablo at 11!….Raymond 845-7552
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