2/20/02

Softball: DC (The Shattered Myth of Indispensability)

Dear People,

First of all, congratz to all on that ambrosial 21-14 aerobic masterwork of a week ago Sunday, the memory of which now barely flickers in my rapidly rotting hippocampus. In all candor, though, I still swell with pride when I think of how I chose to move Jen from right field to 2nd base in a brazen 7th inning gambit of shameless psychological warfare. Now admittedly, her infield tenure will be forever tainted by her impassioned and clarion shrieks of "I got it!"---not three, not four, but FIVE successive times in the course of two seconds---unfortunately followed by the unsightly display of her wobbly little glove spastically jabbing upward as the pop-up in question dropped pointlessly to the ground behind her. Nevertheless, her personal responsibility for my own team’s subsequent collapse should not be glibly overstated, and for the record, I will not hesitate to exploit her skill sets again if the Lord calls on me to do so.

In any case, further congratz to all on this weekend’s utterly sublime won-on-the-last-hit 26-25 paragon of organizational excellence, with special thanks to Mark for melding the wretched emotional flotsam of the 21 previously disparate and pitiful souls who braved rain, cold and mudded filth. Truth be told, my eyes quickly filled with acrid droplets of conflicted emotive release as I phoned in from the Jefferson memorial, a continent away from the riveting 3rd inning 8-8 tie that was now transpiring so effortlessly without me.

I tried to maintain my composure, but Wendy sensed my verzweifelung, and thus I forlornly pointed to Jefferson’s steady gaze past the great Washington Mall and on toward the fabled White House opium gardens. I then gently explained to her that the Jeffster’s greatest contributions to American liberty were his unflinching support for freedom of expression, religion and unaffiliated amateur sport, no matter how despised the words, the faith, or the game, and that I knew in my bosom that he would have been so proud of me and Mark and the whole softball community, and maybe even Jen, although that’s probably pushing it.

Regardless, Wendy had just passed her American citizenship test, and thus she quickly called my bluff. Indeed, she knew that my true Jeffersonian angst was written right there in front of us, where it said in marbled stoneage that "….now and then, a little rebellion is a good thing, and as necessary in the kinesiological world as storms are in the physical." Sometimes words cannot be minced. A little rebellion. A good thing. Kinesiological.

Yes, I stand splayed and naked before you, fully aware that the contradictory reality of my world is that while I cherish this principle, you people as a community already knew me as an annoying and petty tyrant, and now that you also see that my supposedly "vital role" is as easily transferred to others as deeds of title, political allegiances and insecticide-resistant pubic lice, I fully concede that you possess every tenet of moral logic to finally drive me from your sordid and peculiar lives. And therefore, there will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11AM, IF I get enough commits by this Friday morning….Raymond


2/20/02

Softball: Wednesday 4:30 PM: 26 Dogs, 22 Bones

Dear People,

There will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11AM, but alas, in what can only be seen as a compelling display of the allure that references to yeoman Jeffersonian aerobicism still hold in our culture, all slots have already been taken.

A couple of the commits appear a tad ‘soft,’ so definitely feel free to call for late cancels….Ray 845-7552

PS: I know this 22+ rule is a bit harsh and I truly apologize to those regulars who have been so brutally shut out, but I don’t see an alternative. If you do, please write me at "Alternatives, Attention---Raymond Weschler, 2200 Park Avenue, New York, New York, 10003."

PS: $2 for the field/check email if climactic ambiguities/Fresh Sturgeon with Mango Chutney Overlay for the winning team only.

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