Softball: Those Principled Bishops (A Somewhat Snarky Foray into the Nexus of Sport, the Theology of Convenience and Contraceptive Politics)
Dear People,
My side crushed Chris Fure's through a disarming blend of superior hitting, pitching and management, 13-10. Of course, that doesn't mean that Chris was feckless within the given constraints of his tragically doomed captainship, since he often led with both stoic resolve and a certain desperate integrity. Still, I'm not here to sugarcoat it; The fact is that his four authoritative screams of “Fury!” in the seconds before he let a 2nd-inning 2-out 2-RBI blast to center pointlessly ricochet off his glove and into the bushy tundra beyond did indeed establish a markedly subdued level of inspirational tone-a tone, let's be frank, around which his now clinically depressed contingent would flounder for the next seven painful innings. Bummer.
In any case, I think it's evident that the harmonious cohesion of this league is not linked to the results of any given game, and in part because of that, I'll never stop trying to navigate those treacherous ethical shoals that define us as a free and aerobic people. More specifically for now, I've decided that I can no longer use the small weekly surplus from your $4 fees to pay for our protective athletic cups (our scrotal rubbers, if you will), which is, admittedly, an affront to those of you who see such devices as a poison for both our bodies and souls. Believe me, I get it.
Moreover, while I happen to be an incorrigible heathen, I actually think that the clear intent of the original Judeo-Christian source materials should probably carry a bit more weight than the dubious fiats of certain all-male clerical Bozocrats. And given that, I must confess that I am left with a crisis of recreational conscience, for my 3rd favorite of the inimitable 10 Commandments-the vital 4th-clearly states that the Sabbath must be a day to refrain from all work in order to make it hallowed. In other words, to honor the Lord, who apparently worked his holy little fingers to the bone in order to create the whole damn universe in six really efficient days.
The point is that I think we can all agree that running around like a cackle of stick-wielding orb-chasing nut jobs is not consecrating the day in question, and thus I certainly understand that as long as our games occur on Sunday morning, our shameless war on religion will forever taint this entire league. Believe me, I get it (again). Unfortunately though, moving to Saturday might raise hackles amongst the Biblically pure, since that fine day was the true Sabbath until it was ceremoniously hosed by the late Ancient Roman predecessors of today's priestly party poopers.
Given all this, and the occupational commitments of those amongst us who toil during the day, as well as the fact that our homeland has no lights, we undeniably have a predicament. Yet after several minutes of deep contemplative wheezing, it's become clear to me that in order to restore your cherished First Amendment liberties, we'll soon need to move our games to Mondays, from 6-8AM. Sure, that might sound a tad outré, but if there's one thing on which the Republican Base and I will simply not compromise, it's freedom of religion for those who ask for nothing more than to worship, breed and bat. And therefore there will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11, IF I get enough commits by this Friday morning….Raymond
2/15/12
Softball: Choices
There will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11AM, and as of now it is full. As always, please let me know ASAP if you committed and need to cancel, and if you still want in, feel free to get on the wait list or contact me later for news of reopened slots.
This week's field fee is just $4, and that includes either the new electronic edition of Harper's Finnish-Bengali Bilingual Medical Dictionary or a savory pre-game Alsatian onion tart with pancetta and crème fraîche...Raymond 845-7552