Softball: DNA
Dear People,
Since there is no game to report on this week, I would like to briefly comment on the latest revelations concerning the human genome, which I think is of particular relevance to softball-playing peoples everywhere. Indeed, we are all aware that scientists have been claiming for years that the roots of much human behavior and competence are primarily genetic. And while the particulars are still disputed, I think that most of you would agree that we are talking about a vast range of fundamental traits, from sexual orientation and mental illness to the uncanny ability of a gifted few to stoically stare directly into deep left field while simultaneously smashing a bullet-like triple down the right field line---all the while without giggling. The point is that this genome thing is not just a human issue but a softball issue, and I think that we’re all mature enough to accept this.
Having said that, I feel that we must face the unsettling discovery that humans have only about 30,000 genes, or more precisely, just slightly more than the lowly Pacific butterworm (Yes, those ones, with the scaly red skin and the crunchy 1/4 inch torso). I know that you have already read all of this in the press and that many of you have somehow concluded that we are therefore no "better" than the various vermicular soil dwellers that we all know and disdain, and that but for the fact that we outweigh them about 500,000 to 1, they’d probably even beat us in softball.
Perhaps. But I’ve now gone over the specific recreational sourcing code found in the anterior hypothalmi of most of the so-called composting beasts, and while I still have much work to do, I am utterly convinced that even on a compensated per pound basis, we would outscore these miniscule mulching monstrosities in two out of every three games. And therefore, there will be a match at our beloved CODORNICES FIELD (On Euclid, a mile North of campus), this Sunday at noon, IF I get enough commits by this Friday morning…..Ray
2/16/01
Softball: A Return to Sacred Soil
Dear People,
There will be a game this Sunday at noon at gorgeous Codornices Park, home of worms, Antelope and other sentient beings. Please bring $2 for the field, which for this week only, includes a special post-game lecture on the subtle role of pork lard in an aggressive regime of faith-based dieting.
Unfortunately, the game is already full, and therefore I can no longer take any commits. However, feel free to call Sunday morning to see if there are late cancels…..Ray 845-7552
PS: You should check email/voicemail if weather conditions turn icky, but be aware that unlike San Pablo, Codornices does have reasonable drainage, and thus the bar for cancellation is somewhat higher (i.e.…rain on Saturday does not automatically preclude a Sunday game. If necessary, I will personally assess the risks of malaria and gout before making a decision).
2/17/01
Softball: 11AM Sunday: A Question of Character
Dear People,
Cowardice is for soccer players; It ain’t pleasant, and God only knows how many of you will catch fungal madness or swill-rot, but the field IS playable and we have a job to do. UNLESS, it rains, see you at noon….Ray