2/4/04

Softball: Boobs

For the record,

I never fail to emotively wallow in the sheer breadth of character that defines us as a community, and clearly last week was no exception. Once again, we faced the bitter reality of our homeland closed, and with the relentless drizzle of the contemptible Nimbostratus clouds above, any one of you could have easily feigned rabies or gout, or claimed that you feared that the constant soaking of Kleeberger’s fragile rubber sheathing would leave it thread-bare, slippery and of limited contraceptive value. Of course, you’re not like the craven multitudes, and thus 21 of 22 of you actually showed up, and while my team beat Mike Davey’s 23-13, the real winners were the American people, who got to watch us on their cable systems without the outrageous and coarsening display of unexpected tittalage.

The fact is that I’m simply not gonna make light of what happened later that day at the 38th annual Pervo Bowl. Sure, some of my Godless pornophilic European friends are probably thinking that we in America are "pitiful," or "moronic" or "puritanically asinine beyond the ability of professional satirists to make this stuff up." Well, let them think what they want. I for one applaud the decision of Michael Powell and the FCC to launch a full federal investigation into the events of that day, for I happen to think that the public airwaves are just that—public, not pubic—and in all candor, I grieve for the children when I think of how their collective innocence was so needlessly tainted by the brazen two-second flashing of a fully exposed celebrity melon (hot and nasty as it was).

Of course the Administration’s ceaseless battle for decency is nothing new (see Section 2 of http://www.eslnotes.com/ray/013002.html ). Still, I’d like to think that as a softball playing people, we’ll always side with the nipple-detesting masses, and so let me say right now, I will forever keep my own bosom under thick shirt and bra, regardless of how much money I’m offered to do otherwise. And therefore there will be a game at Codornices (or Kleeberger or wherever), this Sunday at 11AM, IF I get enough commits by this Friday noon….Raymond


2/6/04

Softball: Uncertainty

Dear People,

There will be a game this Sunday at 11, at Codornices or Kleeberger or wherever, and as of now, there are still THREE slots left (Codornices is still officially closed, and while I’m sure it will be dry by Sunday, we can’t count on the city to open it up since anti-softballicism runs deep in the marrow of their administrative bones). Be sure to check email that morning, and also be aware that Ruth will once again be holding batting practice starting around 10AM.

Assuming we’re back at Codornices, this week’s field fee will be $2, and that includes Calamari Risotto & Lemon Splattered Seafood, lovingly simmered with the flavors of Spain…Raymond


Softball: Sunday 9:50 AM: Luck

Kleeberger is taken by a horde of insidious Cal LaCrosse players, BUT, Codornices is open and glorious! And some people think there’s no God…

Batting practice at 10/Game at 11/One slot left/See ya soon…Ray

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