Softball: A Confluence of Nuts (With no Actual Reference to Florida)
Dear People,
My team rode roughshod over Chris Fure's frightfully charging bull of power-hitting peril for nine grueling innings, and when all was said and done, Steve Bedrick had pitched us to a stunning 14-8 triumph in which he essentially denarded the cream of their crop. Yet I'm not saying that just because I like to mix my bovine-related metaphors with a shameless indifference to semantic cohesion. The fact is that beyond his own formidable self, the Furinator's contingent had, among others, Ben Carter, Jim McGuire, Alan Shabel and Art (yes, Art!), and yet there they were at this unsightly game's end, floundering about in the humiliating taint of the lowly single digits. In all candor, I get teary-eyed just thinking how managerially debased Chris must have felt.
In any case, and speaking of balls, it may have just been because my side's defense was simply more determined and selfless in the execution of our duties. I specifically refer you to the bottom of the 7th, when Anthony slammed a blistering line drive straight to Pace at short. The fateful orb took a nasty bounce as our hero prepared to scoop it up, but rather than jump for safety, he stoically blocked its advance with the cupless yet robust scrotal sackage that houses his priceless genetic legacy. I saw the entire incident, and yet for the record, after prudently turning away, I neither puked nor fainted. Yeah, perhaps you now understand how we held them to 8.
The point is that I just happened to be researching some legal issues in biotechnology for one of my favorite clients at Boalt Express, and sure enough, this morning I actually found myself perusing a 2007 commentary called “Precision Animal Breeding” in the Asian Journal of Andrology (FWIW, this is my go-to scholarly source in the reproductive sciences). Now look, it would be easy to write that this was a compelling and even seminal article, but that would be too clever by half, and the simple reality is that I'm not about to expand my previous drivel just to bathe you in some kind of contrived editorial “theme.”
Nevertheless, the fact is that the authors of this piece made it abundantly clear that energy-rich phosphate compounds in bull semen are an underappreciated source of its generally superior fecundity (who knew?!), and while it may make you feel dirty just reading that, I think we all know that Pace would've loved to be sporting an extra protective layer of rubberized energy-rich phosphates had he had the opportunity. And therefore there will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11, IF I get enough commits by this Friday morning…Raymond
2/1/12
Softball: Tomorrow's Children
Dear People,
There will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11AM, and as of now it is full. As always, please let me know ASAP if you committed and need to cancel, and if you still want in, feel free to get on the wait list or contact me later for news of reopened slots.
This week's field fee is just $4, and in keeping with this morning's theme, that includes a complimentary one year rental for Big Al's All-American Frozen Sperm and Zygote Storage, conveniently located next to Joanne's Fabrics at the El Cerrito Plaza…..Raymond 845-7552