1/28/04

Softball: Bushonomics Explained

Dear People,

Congratz to all on last week’s outstanding 17-15 return to our cherished Codornices homeland, with its lush clay soils, stirring flora, and rows of fresh sweet corn. After so many weeks in polyurethane exile, the feel of real grass between my lower molars and uvula took the sting out of my side’s heartbreaking loss, and thus I felt strangely at peace with my fate as Michael Davy’s team extinguished our 9th inning rally with the curious sight of a bat not swung.

In all fairness, it’s not Nanci’s fault that she let the very last pitch of the game drift pointlessly through her strike zone and on to the carpet below, thus denying our unstoppable leadoff hitter a chance to bring in both the tying and winning runs on the very next at bat. For one thing, 30 minutes earlier she had stood mesmerized like everyone else as Tom O. let THREE perfect pitches in a row drift right past his own strike zone and on to that same magical carpet. That had been a scene of nearly ethereal mystery, as if God, ball and batter were locked in a transcendent struggle, and yet it was so stark in its beauty that I fear Nanci may have "misinterpreted" the meaning of his swingless strikeout, which ironically, seemed to galvanize Michael’s team anew.

After it was all over, I gently pointed out to Nanci that Tom’s sudden foray into self-induced paralysis occurred with one out in the top of the 7th and not two outs in the bottom of the 9th, thus allowing his team a tad more time to recover from such frisky experimentation. I think she understood what I was trying to say, for she later told me that if she ever again finds herself with a one and two count with two out, one on and her team down by two in the bottom of the 9th, she’ll no longer use her love for the stationary grace of ancient Greek sculpture as a pedagogical model through which to engage the batting experience. I think she gets it.

In any case, and as some of you may know, the Congressional Budget Office is now estimating that cumulative federal deficits over the next 10 years will total 2.4 Trillion dollars, or if you’d prefer, $2,400,000,000. Frankly, I’m baffled, for just one month ago I read that these deficits were projected at 2.2 Trillion, or if you’d prefer, $2,200,000,000. Look, I’m not here to pontificate (that’s what the pope is for), but let me put this into some relevant numbers that you people will understand; In just one month, the 10 year deficit projections have grown by a cost of 50 Billion Rawling Brand Super Blue Dot Softballs, or enough glorious leather orbs to provide us with weekly games for the next 900 million years.

So yeah, you can read the headlines and glibly ignore the implications and say the numbers are just too "abstract" to really get excited about, or you can take some responsibility, write your representatives and demand that your government stop totally hosing the next 40,000,000 generations of aerobic-starved Americans. I think we can all agree to do that, and therefore there will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11AM, IF I get enough commits by this Friday morning…Raymond


1/30/04

Softball: Accounting

First of all, let me just say that I am well aware that this week’s email had a slight mathematical typo, specifically when I wrote that

" the Congressional Budget Office is now estimating that cumulative federal deficits over the next 10 years will total 2.4 Trillion dollars, or if you’d prefer, $2,400,000,000. Frankly, I’m baffled, for just one month ago I read that these deficits were projected at 2.2 Trillion, or if you’d prefer, $2,200,000,000…."

Look, I’m not some kind of numerical retardo, and if you must know, I sailed through both Pre-Algebra and Physics-for-Poets at UCSB. So yeah, I understand that 2.2 Trillion is not $2,200,000,000, but rather $2,200,000,000,000, though to be fair, it’s not like the $2,197,800,000,000 difference has any political, economic or aerobic significance.

In any case, there will be a game at Codoroncies this Sunday at 11AM, there are now TWO slots left, and as usual, the field fee is $200….Raymond

2/1/04

Softball: 9:50AM: Risk/Scarmbling/Astroturf

Codornices is soaked and officlaly closed, HOWEVER, Kleeberger was empty as of a few minutes ago! Ruth weill be there by 10:15ish to help fend off the Soccerites and for batting practice. Do the right thing and don’t flake (despite the unknown risks of Cal’s contemtible LaCrosse team w/ their well-marbled buttocks showing up).,

Courage/Resiliance/Woolen ear muffs/One slot left/No later than 10:55, and 10:30 is more honorable….See ya soon….Raymond

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