Softball: Pertinent Lessons in Recreational Jurisprudence
Dear People,
My team joyously euthanized Paul Fine's, 16-15, on the last hit of a sublime aerobic masterwork that they'll likely be talking about for the next 10,000 years. It was a grueling and see-sawing affair, and as you can imagine, replete with the usual partisan brouhahas that have always been the corrosive scourge of great cardiovascular democracies. The point is that with two out, none on and the score tied at 15 in the bottom of the 9th, Frank unleashed an unsightly two-base blooper 20 feet past 1st, and while his intent was pure of heart, the kerplunk of this hit would trigger an impassioned debate on just how seriously we cleave to the often exasperating demands of our settled athletic law.
Mike “that-rule-sucks” Davey was the first to speak out, claiming that Frankenstein's double was actually a foul ball that had clearly fallen outside the right-field line. There was a general consensus that this was technically true, but Jess had the right to make the call as catcher, and she claimed that the orb in question actually plopped down just to the left of the portable green garden pots that have ironically formed our borders since the Frankish Civil Wars of Medieval Europe (No, I don't glibly pull history out of my ass; That's just not what I do:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charles_Martel#Civil_war_of_715-718)
In any case, with Frank smiling from 2nd and Chris Fure waiting hungrily at the plate, Mikey bitterly pointed out that our games were not a play-thing by which to launch a shameless broadside against the venerable foundations of basic Euclidian geometry. I was almost willing to concede as much, but then, truth be told, I took umbrage at Paul suggesting that whoever put down those pots was probably a legally blind drunkard. Maybe, maybe not.
Now look, no one had bitched about this for the first eight and half innings, and regardless, while it's true that I had inadvertently placed the pots in a curvaceously sensual sine wave, we as a people have always adhered to such meandering boundaries whenever they diverge from the prosaic straight rays of simple plate-to-base-and-beyond (And for the record, I still happen to think that with the possible exception of pie, your classic ray carries the most elegant nominal load in all of mathematics).
The point is that it would be nice to pick and choose the rules we follow based on whether or not we 'like' them, but that's just not the way our principled little league works. Indeed, I'm reminded of just one inning earlier, when Tristan easily beat the throw back to first on a shallow pop up to center, only to be callously tagged out by the Daveyator when he naively stepped past the base and into foul territory. The poor kid is from Holland, for God's sake, and he was completely unaware that such a move left him metaphorically nude. Moreover, the sting here was particularly sharp given that he had just made his forth glorious hit of the game! Still, I didn't suggest to Mikey that the overstep rule is a codified petty monstrosity of Dutch-hating anti-Semitism, yet I think we all know what we know.
So yeah, the pot-rule stood, Frank stayed at 2nd, Chris slammed him home, my team won, and later that night, I slept soundly with the pristinely clean conscious of a baby blue sparrow in the prime of its little birdie innocence. Yes, my friends, I believe we have the communal sagacity to know that brittle is the league whose most deeply resented rules are only randomly enforced, and therefore there will be a game at Codornices this Sunday 11 IF I get enough commits by this Friday morning…Ray
1/24/13
Softball: Limber
Dear People,
There will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11AM, and as of now it is full. As always, please let me know ASAP if you committed and need to cancel, and if you still want in, feel free to get on the wait list or contact me later for news of reopened slots.
This week's field fee is just $4, and that includes a special post-match class in mastering the rond de jambe en l'air of neo-classical hip-hop…Raymond 845-7552