Softball: The Spark of Foreign Inspiration
Dear People,
My team shattered Jim's 23-12, but only after a mighty struggle that tightly bound us together-nude, odiferous, and bitterly tied at 12 as late as the top of the 8th. Curiously, it was just as the Gymster himself took his own rotational sit-out that his side began their unsightly 10-error implosion from which, alas, they would never recover in either runs or dignity. And while I don't want to rub salt in the metaphorical wound, the fact is that as the catcalls of 'pitiful' and 'pathetic' grew ever more strident, it suddenly occurred to me that this was the first game in our 15-year history in which a team found itself heckled by its own captain. As tactical gambits go, this is not recommended.
Of course the hero of my side's triumph was Ali, who flew in from Melbourne just to make her community debut. Remarkably, she had never played softball (or even professional baseball!), and yet you never would've sensed the kinesiological innocence of her young Aussie life. Indeed, beyond her flawless catchership, it was her searing lead-off single and tie-breaking run that triggered my side's explosive late-inning rally, though in the end, it was simply her infectious joie-de-kick-ass that proved so decisive. Yeah, she'll soon return to her Melbournian 'hood, and with grace, charm and new-found conviction, she'll undoubtedly convince her peeps that there is more to a noble athletic calling than rugby, cricket and off-beach spear fishing.
The point is I'm fully aware that there's a dumbass overrated local football game this Sunday afternoon, and that even worse, a contemptible softball-hating megastorm is set to wallop us nasty in the days ahead. I get it, and believe me, I wasn't even going to try and organize a game. But then I started thinking about it some more, and I remembered that aside from the fact that the 49ers are merely an athletic concept by which we measure our pain, the reality is that Codornices has almost magical, God-like drainage.
So, no, I'm not going to sit here and cancel the one opportunity you have for genuine aerobic release, just because you could risk a humiliating and soul-destroying rain-out. That's especially true knowing that just 10,000 miles away, both Ali and our beloved Jonny will be stuck in a stark recreational wasteland where they would give anything just to take that risk, for as you know, the closest thing they ever have to softball are rugby, cricket and hurling some kind of hideous military fork at perfectly innocent schools of trout, sturgeon and herring. And therefore there will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11, IF I get enough commits by this Friday morning…Raymond
1/20/12
Softball: Charleston (Horrors of Life in the Old World)
Dear People,
There will hopefully be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11AM, and as of now, there is one slot left. Unfortunately, a heinous layer of water-pissing nimbostratus clouds is hovering overhead as I type these very words, and the forecast is for unrestrained rain for the next day or two. Nevertheless, my sources at the Climate Desk of the Slovakian Consulate in Vallejo assure me that all will be well by Sunday, and since we're an unabashedly determined folk with a homeland whose drainage is staggering in its efficacy, you should assume nothing until you get email clarification by 10AM that morning.
This week's field fee is just $4, and that includes my personal pledge to you to keep this community from transforming into the European-like radical-socialist den of Godless depravity that so many other athletic leagues have so sadly become….Raymond 845-7552
1/22/12
Softball: Sunday 9:45AM: Screwed ;-(
Dear People,
As of this morning, Codonices was glorious, so she can't be blamed (Please, don't blame her). But it has started to drizzle heavily as I type these very words, the forecast is for worse, and the current Doppler is a huge and intensifying softball-hating green layer barreling down from the North.
Given that I really don't want to waste your time (several players would be coming from outside the immediate area), and more importantly, risk exposing you to flu, malaria or penicillin-resistant gonorrhea, I have no choice but to cancel today's game.
Until next week….Raymond