1/18/00
Softball: The Enduring Impact of Tactical Thought
Dear People,
Congratz to all on last weekend’s magnificently soggy 29-23 manifestation of stellar aerobic intrepidity. As the genteel drizzle of the 2nd inning suddenly gave way to the ominous downpour of the 3rd, I clearly remember how the sated soils of the Codornices infield began to bleed the first inchoate puddles of the season. Frankly, I believe a lesser people would have scattered in panic, but in fact, and to a person, our community became ever more resolute with every piercing drop. Indeed, a fellow teammate came to me as the rains became more biblical in intensity, and he shyly whispered that he was deeply frightened, for if he continued to play in such thoroughly soaked clothes, he might catch the flu, develop pneumonia, or perhaps even contract tertiary syphilis.
I conceded that such risks were obviously greatly increased so long as the downpour endured, but then I looked falornly into his eyes, and with the shaking stutter of a just orphaned otter, told him that ultimately, his fears must always be balanced with his inherent love for the game of softball itself, and the social cohesion of the community in which he played it. Remarkably, this gentle soul quickly internalized the stakes, held fast despite his terror, and continued to stoically play on. Then, as the warming rays of the sun suddenly burst through the nimbostratus clouds in the top of the 4th,
I could feel the amorphous dread of the surrounding air quickly melt away, and I soon realized that my brazen wager on emergency aerobic psychotherapy had paid off, the rich yield of nine long and sensual innings now clearly assured.
And speaking of great moments in the development of strategic manipulation, it turns out that this Saturday, January 22nd will mark the 134th anniversary of the birth of the seminal Chicago White Stockings star John "hoghead" Clarkson, the first pitcher in the history of professional baseball to intentionally walk an opposing batter, in this case, the legendary Tip ‘O Neil of the St. Louis Browns. The watershed event occurred on September 20th, 1886, with two outs in the bottom of the 8th inning of game four of the World Championship, with theWhite Stockings trailing the match 3-2, and the series 3-1. ‘Ol porcine face quickly found himself in a desperate situation, with runners on second and third, and the fearsome O’Neil at the plate. Suddenly, and without conferring with White Stockings management, Clarkson began to pitch the first of four successive throws several feet to the right of the batter’s box, preventing the visibly enraged O’Neil from even getting a swing at the ball! Although scholars would later fiercely debate who knew what when, it is now generally conceded that only catcher Bud Lippsen was privy to the young pitcher’s shocking gambit!
Alas, the very next hitter smashed a three run triple to deep center right, and thus the Stockings went on to lose both the game (7-3), and the series (4-2). But that’s not the point, and I think you understand that. For despite the ruthless press that he received in the days to follow (The Tribune accused Clarkson of "juvenile behavior that degrades competitive athletics"), most historians now recognize that what the hogmeister did on that sultry Missouri afternoon was to forever change the way that baseball was played. Indeed, in my opinion, this misunderstood master of the 19th century mound is the true father of strategy in sport, and as such, I believe that his legacy permeates the very marrow of our baseball-loving bones.
Oh sure, in today’s times of crass specialization, when a manager thinks nothing of inexplicably replacing a curve-ball hurling southpaw for a transgendered fast-ball-throwing rookie reliever, it’s easy to forget that in those early days, the norms of managerial logistics did not stray much beyond telling pitchers to "try and get the batters out." No, times are no longer so innocent, and while Clarkson obviously did not create the 64-bit highly scalable Inktomi software that currently determines every pitch thrown and every player used, I would argue that his unprecedented action serves as the foundation upon which the entire science of modern athletic logistics now rests.
Therefore, there will be a game at Codornices this Saturday at 11AM, IF I get enough players by this Friday noon. So this time, make that commit, knowing you’ll be recognizing one of the great lesser known giants of independent action; Do it for John "hoghead" Clarkson, the kindly porcine-nosed maverick who brought intellectual rigor and grace to an essentially mindless endeavor of stick-wielding louts…Raymond
BACK