1/14/03
Softball: The Challenges Ahead
Dear People,
I suppose one could devise a compelling "theory" as to why Chris’ team narrowly defeated my own, 22-5, but ultimately, what would be the point? Perhaps it’s because Frank pitched like a blind man in a game full of deaf power hitters, or because Terri was not the most "effective" catcher, or indeed, because when all is said and done, my own captainship was arguably jejune, effete and totally drained of its normal inspirational nectar. But like I said, that would be theory-—cold, abstract and methodically cut loose from the anchors of sanity.
In reality, of course, most observers would concede that my team played a more honorable and nuanced match, but came up a tad short due to the disarming presence of Arthur, with his sexagenarian Dutch charm and that stirring Khaki Safari Hat with Scotch Guard. The fact is that he’s not a regular, he’s decades older than any of us will ever be, and he’s from a small and frisky nation that’s primarily known for its decent cheese and bad haircuts—and yet there he was, pounding away Astroturf-laden hits with every swing of his bat! So yeah, we can pretend that we don’t really understand what caused such an unseemly score, but at a certain point, such athletic agnosticism grows tiresome, and for this particular match, I think we all can accept that the answer lies deep within one very stark and disturbing word: Rotterdam.
In any case, I have been in touch with my contacts at Berkeley Parks and Rec, and they have informed me that the city will continue to keep its glorious tundras closed so long as "just one puddle remains on the field." This is, of course, extremist herbal lunacy, and threatens to totally hose us as a people. In fact, Kleeberger could become inaccessible with the return of Cal’s students, and thus, an eerie convergence of nutso city policy, softball-hating academics and sucky weather is putting your aerobic innocence at risk. Of course, it’s never been easy being us, but that’s to be expected when you play the sport of the Lord. And therefore, there will be a game at either Codornices, Kleeberger or the carpool lane of Highway 80, this Sunday at 11AM, IF I get enough commits by this Friday morning….Raymond
1/16/03
Softball: The Price of Entry
Dear People,
There will be a game this Sunday at 11AM, and because my contacts at the meteorological desk of the Slovenian consulate in Vallejo assure me that there will be no rain between now and then, it will most likely be at Codornices. Still, due to the city’s wacko zero puddlement policy, you should check email about 10AM that morning.
As of now, there are six slots left, which means that you are welcome to invite and commit anybody not on this list, so long as they will respect our aerobic values, play with abiding good cheer, and agree to provide cigarettes, beer and meth to all players in attendance… Raymond 845-7552
Softball: Sunday 9:58AM: Why do they Hate us at City Hall?
Amazingly, Codornices is STILL officially closed, despite the fact it is gorgeous, without a single puddle and drier than a shuttered Chicago saloon in 1927 (ie….it’s slightly damp…BFD, the city should be ashamed of itself).
We will therefore meet at KLEEBERGER, which was empty as of 10 minutes ago. Obviously, there are risks, but as an oppressed people, we’re used to that. Please try to get there by 10:50ish, since off-street parking is now very difficult and thus you’ll need to park in the lot, which means we need to start as close to 11:00 as possible (+ the earlier we are there, the more likely we’ll fend off the socceristes).
If we get there and it’s all for not, we’ll probably retreat back to Codornices and I’ll personally take the risk of fine, jail and deportation.
Two slots left/See ya in an hour…Ray
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