1/9/02
Softball: The Lynchpin of Renaissance
Dear People,
Congratz to all on last week’s triumphant 22-17 return to the land of our cherished polyurethane roots. After two years of forced exile, I nearly broke down and wept as I finally felt the joyous tactile relief of Kleeberger’s rubber sheathing beneath my posterior tibial tendon, and for that, I think I personally owe Frank a debt of enormous gratitude.
Indeed, when I wrote you Sunday at 10:01 AM, I intentionally downplayed the risks that we were facing in order to maximize the odds of a vital and hearty quorum. But the disconcerting reality is that when Frank arrived at 9:55, Kleeberger was not actually liberated, for at least three lacrosse-playing miscreants were ominously loitering on the North field, with their thick UC shoulder padding, menacing oak fielders’ sticks and yes, those alluring well-marbled buttock cheeks. The fact is that the Frankster was outarmed and outnumbered, and a lesser man may have fled, especially when the louts in question began to snidely address him as "stupid-ass-cell-phone softball boy."
Fortunately, I arrived at 10:09 to find Frank drained and tremulous, but the South field still secured, and the contemptible morning drizzle giving way to a magnificent anabiosistic sun. The upshot is that the game which followed is a testament to the courage of this towering giant of organizational assistance. Moreover, his staggering valor more than overshadows the fact that he would later recklessly hurl a searing 4th inning overthrow past the first baseman and directly into the tender sackage of Brohein’s frightfully uncupped manhood. Broh, of course, held no grudges, for despite the intense pain, he knew that without Frank, there would have been no game at all, and that ultimately, the bitter astringent of foiled non-surgical castration is a small price to pay for the privilege of play.
In any case, my sources at the weather desk of the Khazaki Consulate in Livermore are promising unfettered sunshine from now until Monday, and therefore, there will be a game at CODORNICES this Sunday at 11AM, if I get enough commits by this Friday morning….Raymond
PS: As of today, all softball drivel through the end of 2001 has been posted at www.eslnotes.com/ray/6.html, and a variety of community photos should appear on that same page within the next few weeks.
1/11/01
Softball: The Resumption of Climatic Sanity
Dear People,
There will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11AM, and as of now, there is still ONE slot left.
Please bring $1 for the field, which for this week only, includes a succulent peppercorn rump roast with tart apple chutney and pan-seared Twinkies……Raymond 845-7552
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